Home > Uncategorized > From the Archives: Five (5) Overpriced Bullshit Accessories We Can’t Live Without

From the Archives: Five (5) Overpriced Bullshit Accessories We Can’t Live Without


Here’s my rant for the week: Having to pay outrageous prices for shit that shouldn’t cost more than $299, but having no other choice than to pay more than 10X that amount because, well, we kind of need them.

5. Bluetooth.

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Now that it’s a law in California, we have no choice other than to buy these douchey over-sized earrings.

What it costs: $199

What it should cost: Less than $49.99

4. MP3 player headphones.

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How many times have you accidentally stepped on your iPod headphones and had to go replace them?

What it costs: $39.99

What it should cost: $4.99

3. MP3 player workout case.

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This isn’t exactly a need, but let’s face it: It’s much better than holding your iPod in your sweaty hands and having it slip out while you jog.

What it costs: $34.99

What it shou.d cost: $5.99

2. Cell phone car charger.

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We’ve all bought a cellphone, opened the package, and then realized that hey, fuck, there’s no car charger in this friggin box!?

What it costs: $29.99

What it should cost: $6.99

1. Plastic cell phone case.

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I recently purchased a blackberry. I’m sure most of you have either done the same or purchased an iPhone or G1. Our age group does that. We’re douches.

Anyway, we don’t want to scratch our precious new toys, so we opt to cover them in a protective plastic casing. That’s when the “Are you fucking kidding me?” hits us.

What it costs: $9.99

What it should cost: FREE

Are you FUCKING kidding me? This piece of shit thin plastic casing costs less to manufacture than a packet of Del fucking Scorcho, and you have the audacity to charge me $10 goddamn bucks plus tax for it?

Fuck you, America.

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