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Better in Theory


I think this blog is pretty self-explanatory. This is just a simple list of things that sound amazing on paper, but in reality aren’t so great, and are actually quite overrated.

1. Cocaine – I do coke every 9 months to remind myself why I hate it.

2. Pancakes – Always sound pretty delicious, until you feel like puking, which usually occurs about three bites in.

3. One night stands – This could technically be included in a category titled “any decision you make while drunk”, but I guess you don’t really have to be drunk to make this mistake. On second thought, yeah, you do.

4. The Democratic Party – Yeah, I’m a social liberal. But even I can recognize that most of the ideas this party comes up don’t really translate to real-world success.

5. Fast Food – In a hurry? Low on cash? Then fast food is fucking awesome. Until about 30 minutes after you’ve eaten it and you’re more hungover than Britney Spears at a child custody hearing.

6. Credit Cards – It isn’t until you realize that 5% of your minimum monthly payment goes to actually paying off your credit card that they become depressing.

7. Blondes – I mean, most are brunettes in disguise anyway.

8. Girls cutting their hair short – Having an identity crisis? Well what better way to make yourself even more depressed than going for the butch cut? Bad call, ladies.

9. Bars – Of the few certainties in life outside of death and taxes, several of them occur at bars: For one, you’re not getting laid. For two, you will wind up spending more than $50 somehow. Third, you’re probably going to get in a fight with some aspiring UFC fighter.

10. Los Angeles – The allure of Hollywood attracts dregs from all across the world with the promise of glitz and glam. But when you consider that less than 1% of the people trying to “make it” actually do, it gets pretty depressing pretty quickly.

That’s all I have for now. Certainly not a comprehensive list either. There will be more to come. And this list doesn’t even touch on some of the better examples I have, I just couldn’t think of them all right now. There will be many installments of this blog, you can count on that.

Also, feel free to add your own “better in theory” ideas to this list.

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