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Damn, What a Bummer


The Cast of Paper Heart

The Cast of Paper Heart

Michael Cera is one of the stars of the legendary comedy series Arrested Development. This is one of the GREATEST FUCKING SHOWS OF ALL-TIME, and Mr. Cera is one of the primary reasons why.

Since the show was canceled in 2006 (wtf, FOX?) Michael has been cast as the lead as a dorky hipster in a number of films, often times opposite equally dorky hipster chicks. But while douchey Shia LeBeuof has been cast opposite Megan Fox, Michael Cera has been dealing with THIS:

This is pretty fucked up.

This is pretty fucked up.

Are you fucking kidding me? I love asian chicks. I want an asian chick to have my babies. Asian chicks are by far the hottest chicks on the planet. But this is seriously fucked up. This kid deserves more. He’s funny, he’s sassy, he’s god damn adorable. He was in SUPERBAD! It seems that fat (annoying) Jew Jonah Hill gets cast alongside more hotties than poor Mike does.

He deserves this: (See: Photo of Megan Fox snubbing fat, British kid.)

She sucks, but she's hot.

She sucks, but she's hot.

Casting him alongside fugly asian chicks (wait, is that Ugly Betty?), is not cool with me. He needs to be motorboating Megan Fox’s titties at some point. We should protest this film. It seems like he’s being cast alongside increasingly uglier girls in his films.

There is no justice in Hollywood. This is such a shame.

Update: Marissa A. Ross from Tangents & the Times has informed me that this fugly filipino is in fact Michael Cera’s REAL LIFE GF. WHOA BRO! WHAT THE FUCK. You’re a celebrity, my dear boy, step it up! If the crypt keeper (Larry King) can date hot ass, then so can you!! Now get out there and molest Scarlet Johannsen in an elevator my cavalier young friend!

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