The “Fuck You” List
Roger Clemens – Pretty much Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down minus the unintentional comedy.
Barry B*nds – When the Angels won the World Series in 2002, it was awesome. But what was more awesome is that they prevented one of the biggest pricks (and cheaters) in Major League Baseball history from ever winning a title.
Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D) – Fuck you, dude. Seriously. If you’re innocent, then you have a right to fly to California, drive to my house, and punch me in the balls. But if you’re guilty – then burn.
Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (D) – Props on banging a hottie. Even if you had to pay $10,000 for it, I’ll give it up – she was fine.
That being said – Fuck you for being a piece of shit Pharisee. There’s nothing I hate more than some self-righteous quasi-religious douchebag who fucks around (cheats on his gf, wife, etc.) and then hides behind the bible. I know people like you personally…and they’re scumbags. So fuck you.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney (R) – After viewing Oliver Stone’s (surprisingly impartial and unbiased) W.
, all my suspicious have been confirmed.
Colin Powell: Awesome dude.
Condi Rice: Major league ass-kisser, but alright human being.
Donald Rumsfeld: Huge douche. Going to hell. Not even an argument.
Karl Rove: The most likable of all Republican pundits. Rush Limbaugh without the pretentious attitude.
George W. Bush: Honestly, he’s a very likable man. And not even in the Top 10 in terms of worst Presidents of all-time (Ok, maybe he is, but it’s no fault of his own.
That being said – Fuck Dick Cheney. There’s a special place in hell for people like him: The 9th Circle.
And that is all.